Dear Witty: Bullied
Dear Witty,
What do you do when you have been yelled at by your boss for 12 minutes straight in a 1:1, and after telling your VP of HR, she says, “Are you sure he was yelling or was he just speaking loudly?” But it isn’t just that. It’s the constant low-level bullying from one individual through email, comments, lack of support, disruptive work style, that slowly drags you down and makes you feel you are less than.
-Bullied
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Bullied,
What an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Being yelled at, degraded, and gaslit by the people who are supposed to support you are huge red flags of a toxic workplace environment. Within these environments, emotional abuse is often tolerated as normal workplace interactions. But this behavior is unacceptable.
You have a couple of courses of action:
Secure the services of a labor lawyer. Be sure to keep immaculate written records of every abusive incident (who, what, when), in addition to archiving email interactions.
Quit. Toxic work environments, as you’ve noted, “drag you down” — and this has serious implications for your mental health. We recognize that leveraging the power of exit is a privilege not everyone has; if you are unable to quit outright, consider securing a position with a new company before putting in your notice.
It sounds like you have the strength, courage and tolerance to withstand a great deal of adversity. If you haven’t already, we hope that you will find the courage to leave this unsafe environment. No job is worth any amount of gaslighting, bullying or other abuse. It seems like you know you’re undervalued and you are aware that you are not getting the respect nor support you are hoping for. Please see this as an opportunity to use those attributes toward networking and searching for a role in an organization where you will be valued, respected and supported.
During this pandemic-induced era known as “the great resignation,” millions of people have quit their jobs. Employee-friendly working conditions are no longer a dream of the past — companies have realized they need to treat their employees better, whether that be through compensation, benefits, or allowing greater flexibility in the workplace. Life is too short to trade dignity for a paycheck. Perhaps now is the best time to look elsewhere. It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to quit a role that drains you, especially during a pandemic. Plenty of organizations are willing to offer more desirable accommodations and incentives to attract and retain employees, knowing full well they are competing for talent during a volatile time. If you’re not sure where to start, a previous Dear Witty blog has some great networking resources. Also, check out our job board and events page for opportunities.
Rather than focus on telling you you’re wonderful and that you should try to fight your current organization, we are going to suggest that the better path is to trade the abusive workplace environment for one where you can flourish. You deserve better.
In solidarity,
WITTY
If you have a question for Dear WITTY, please submit it HERE! We would love to hear from you. Please note that while we would love to address every question, unfortunately we cannot due to the volume of emails we receive.